Category Archives: letter

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

First of all, happy birthday! I guess today is as good a day as any to tell you how much I appreciate you. You have spent my entire life trying to teach me, but honestly, I learned most from the things you weren’t overtly explicating.

You are the strongest woman I know. I got my stoicism from you. I never quite learned how to block out all emotion, or never show I care, but I learned enough to protect myself. I have watched you my entire life, taking everything in stride. Nothing affected you. In a way I envy that, and maybe one day I will perfect the art of nonchalance.

You taught me how to build everything from nothing. You withheld from me when I was young, and as resentful as I may have been (and maybe still am once in a while), I learned to do everything for myself, never relying on anyone else. I am at a point in my life where I will have to build myself from nothing once more, and this time I have others depending on me, and because of the experience you have given me, I have quite a running start. I have learned from you how to pull things out of thin air, and in times of desperation, push just a bit further.

I have heard your stories, and I don’t know if I could do what you did, but I would like to think I could accomplish half. I have learned that much.

No matter what I did, you always wanted more from me, it was never good enough, and I think that was simply your way of motivating me, giving me impetus for achieving just a bit extra and never stagnating.

You even taught me the silly things, yet still important in their own right. I have your insane fashion sense, always ready for all occasions. I remember being about eight, and wanting to wear an outfit not far from pajamas. You asked me to change and I didn’t want me. You asked me to think about what would happen if plans change, if something spontaneous happens. What if I may think I am just running out for an errand and something comes up that demands I arrive somewhere formal? Then what? Wouldn’t I be embarrassed at the way I am dressed? That was the example you gave me and I never forgot. You will be glad to know I have never been embarrassed anywhere.

I cannot enumerate your many lessons, things learned directly, and indirectly watching you, inadvertently studying you and mimicking you as a child would do.

You have never lied to me, and taught me to be more honest than may be good for me. You praised my talents, and simultaneously reminded me of my shortcomings. Thank you for never deluding me into believing I am good at everything, or worse, at the very things I don’t have a calling for. Thank you for helping me develop those things at which I excel, even when you could not give me the answers, but guided me to find them elsewhere.

Now you have grandchildren who learn everything from you second hand through me. So far I cannot say I have taught them any great life lessons, but they see, and have probably gleaned more than I think.

Mom, from you I have learned patience, defiance, wit, charm, decadence, passion, stoicism, strength, and my own weaknesses.

I love you like I love my own children. When you had me you gave me life. Since then you have given me your life in pieces. Thank you for giving me everything, and teaching me how to find those things you could not give.

A Letter to Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor,
This morning I heard one of your songs on the radio. I have to tell you, you are starting to creep me out. Don’t take this the wrong way, let me explain. I think you are great. I have to admit, your music is not my style, but that doesn’t mean you are not talented. You are an extremely talented young lady, and I urge you to make the most use of your talent. Somewhere else. You have a very lovely voice, but your lyrics are starting to concern me.
When you first made it big you were in your teens and singing about fairy tales and first crushes which was not just acceptable but expected. And actually rather refreshing. I saw your performance on some award show back then (honestly I don’t remember which one), and I thought “Awwww…. She is adorable!” And your remained adorable for several more years.
Then this morning I heard this:
We hadn’t seen each other in a month
When you said you need space… What?
When you come around again and say
“Baby, I miss you and I swear I’m gonna change.
Trust me.”
Remember how that lasted for a day?
I say “I hate you,” we break up, you call me…
I love you.
Ooh, we called it off again last night but
Ooh, this time I’m telling you, I’m telling you…
We are never ever ever… getting back together
Like, ever.
Ughhh… So he calls me up, and he’s like, “I still love you,
and I’m like, I mean this is exhausting. You know, like
we are never getting back together. Like, ever.
Um…. I vaguely remember talking like that when I was about ten. In fact I remember the exact incident. This cute boy in my class kept borrowing my crayons, but would forget to return them. Each time he would promise he will bring it right back. Then one day, as I was running in short supply and I absolutely needed that periwinkle to complete my drawing, I marched over to his desk, took my crayon back and yelled “you can’t borrow my crayons anymore. LIKE EVER!” I broke off our crayon based relationship forever. I am sure he was devastated.
The problem is, you are not ten anymore. Please stop singing as if you were. This is the equivalent of those fifty year old women who still dress like they are fifteen. It doesn’t work for them, and it is not really going to work for you. I understand your current demographic is a hoard of twelve year old girls that share the above sentiments, in those words precisely, but again, you have some talent going for you. From what I have heard you say in interviews, you are a pretty smart cookie. I am going to tell you right now, you are going to get tired of this. Really tired. And when you do, you are going to get depressed. So save yourself the wrist slashing, alcohol induced stupor, and celebrity rehab bookings.
Also, I am the last person who should be giving anyone relationship advice, but really? Are the above lyrics what your relationships have amounted to? You might want to think about that.
I know you have been at this for a while, and habits are sometimes hard to break. In lieu of advice, I am going to offer an example. Maybe not the best example, but let’s focus on baby steps. Let’s look at Katy Perry. Her music isn’t really my style either, but I love her lyrics (with some exceptions).
Her newest song came out not too long ago. Katy seems to know what is going on:
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was in the dark
I was falling hard
With an open heart
I’m wide awake
How did I read the stars so wrong
I’m wide awake
And now it’s clear to me
That everything you see
Ain’t always what it seems
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long
I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn’t dive in
Wouldn’t bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
Till I woke up
On the concrete
Katy just got out of a relationship too, and granted hers was a rather interesting divorce and not some coloring book drama, she is looking at it from a different perspective. Honestly, I feel as though your sentiments are the same. Both of you learned something. But, Taylor, maybe you should learn a little bit more. So next time you are writing your lyrics, let’s try channeling Katy. Once you have mastered that, we will move on to something a bit more difficult, like Tina Dico. Because if you can write lyrics like Tina, with your voice and reputation, you will become a classic. People will be listening to your music forty years from now. But again, baby steps one at a time. No one expects you to become Tina over night.
Oh, and I know you love wearing those red dresses. Great choice. You look fabulous!

Past, Present, and Future Stuff

Before I present the list of articles I have written across the vast internets… I would like to announce Confessions from the Crib will be moving. It will be better than ever, much more user friendly, and just all around more awesome.
I am sure you are asking where I will be moving… and as soon as I get the new place fixed up you are all going to be invited. Keep checking back. Until the new site is running properly I will still be posting here and business will continue as usual. This includes my pregnancy series, and other fun stuff.
For now, I hope the following will entertain.
Is there anything you particularity want to see me cover? Any topics you care to hear my take on?