Category Archives: things


Because I need to laugh right now. And I don’t think you understand *how much* I need to laugh right now. Really folks, this needs to happen. So, in keeping with this, and considering it is still relatively the New Year because I haven’t gone back to work yet, here are some resolutions of things I need to stop doing this year.

The word “amazing” needs to stop. I realize not everything is amazing, and I really feel I am detracting from those things that are by overusing the word. Like that cup of coffee I got at the gas station the other day. Yes, I really needed coffee, and while I may have, at the time, felt it was amazing because I was going through caffeine withdrawal, I also must realize that in all probability the gas station coffee was not “amazing.” It may have been good, it might have even been really good, but more than likely it was so-so, and fulfilled my caffeine junkie needs.

I need to stop judging other women by how they dress. And I don’t mean in that “oh, she is so skanky” kind of way. Because I only judge other women on how scantly they are dressed if they are standing outside shivering ridiculously. For the love of God, it is cold outside, put a hat on. What I mean, is I need to stop judging fashion sense. I realize that just because your purse does not match your shoes does not make you a horrible person. And just because you haven’t yet come to the conclusion that those stripes aren’t working for you doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

Just like not everything is “amazing,” not everything is “terrifying.” Some things are disconcerting, perhaps upsetting, mildly scary, but seriously, unless there is a giant spider crawling up my thighs, I am not truly terrified. I should begin reserving this word for proper usage lest it loses its potency.

I need to stop collecting cats. Yes, they are unbelievably cute, cuddly, furry little things. I have five of them, and they are currently conspiring to kick me out of my bed at night. A sixth or seventh will either lead to mutiny, or a kitty riot. Both of which may sound adorable, but from my perspective, are both rather inconvenient to say the least . The very next time someone says they have a cat that needs a home, I will look the other way. No, I don’t want to see your delightful pictures, keep your cats to yourself!

It may be January, but it is far from winter. I need to stop dressing for a ski trip in near 80 degree weather. I may appear season appropriate, but there is never an appropriate time to saunter around like I am in a sauna… fully dressed. The other day I had to peel my clothes off and fight off the sudden urge to lay naked on the bathroom floor. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that my bathroom is about three feet by three feet, and laying on the floor would involve entirely too much contortionist-like behavior.

And lastly, I must stop using my kids as an excuse to go the candy store. While they may enjoy the candy, it is not beneficial for them, and certainly not for me. If I want candy, I will go to the grocery store like normal people and withstand the judgement that comes with purchasing five pounds of jelly bellies at the counter. Yes, they are all for me. Stop staring.

I am sure I am leaving several things out. As I think of them I will either add them to this list, or create a new one. Or five.


8 Things

So there is this trend on Facebook where people are posting lists of random facts about themselves. Aside from learning things about my friends, I enjoy creating these lists because they get me thinking about myself as in “what do others not know?” or “what don’t I ever explore?” Um… considering I blog about everything, not much. So I dredged up a few things that some people know, but others may not. Quirky? Maybe.

1. I don’t like symmetry. I don’t like things that match. I like off-center art, and don’t buy sets of identical things.

2. I enjoy my time alone more than I enjoy company. Sorry y’all.I love you, but in increments.

3. I use the Socratic method to come to conclusions or decide on things, except in a bizarre way. I won’t know what to do so I talk it out with myself, asking questions. I answer myself. I have yet to come to any good conclusions.

4. Winter is my favorite season.

5. I leave on a whim quite often.  Once I wanted ice cream, and drove all the way up to the Bay Area to get it (Fenton’s Creamery). Had ice cream. Drove back down.

6. I don’t like receiving flowers. I don’t like being given something that is simultaneously dead and continually dying. Keep the flowers and get me a cup of coffee.

7.  I don’t like it when people cry. It freaks me out, and as if I wasn’t socially awkward enough, what am I supposed to do about this?? If it is my fault I can apologize, but really I prefer we just talk. If I didn’t have anything to do with why they are crying… then I am really uncomfortable and confused.

8. Silly things get me very excited. I like all silliness.

As Moving Gets Closer

During my adult life I have never lived in a city. Moving day is fast approaching and I feel like a deer caught in headlights. I am going to start from scratch, after many years, in an environment I am for the most part unfamiliar with.Today I was in the kitchenware aisle. I have almost nothing. I stared at everything for what seemed an eternity. Ten years worth of kitchen-stuff accrual. Gone. Except I, ironically, get to keep most of everything that was a wedding present. I have three different types of salt and pepper shakes and grinders. I am well equipped should anyone need salt or pepper. Need utensils? Sorry, can’t help you there.

But it is not all bad. I am excited. I get to pick out whichever plates I want. I can get creative with my decor. I can wash dishes however I like. My pots and pans will no longer have restrictions.

I don’t know where the grocery store is. Yes, I know, I can search for things online. But I mean, as of right now, I have no idea where the grocery store is. What if there there is no Fresh and Easy? Will I have to stop by the one in Northridge instead? Is there one closer?

At least I don’t have to worry about traffic. I work off hours. What does that mean? No one is driving to or from the city before 6 in the morning or after 8 in the evening. Except maybe on the weekends, but then I don’t have to drive.

I do have to worry about parking. Basically this place has the worst parking arrangement. Ever. Even for residents. It is in an amazing neighborhood, and no one will ever want to come visit me because of the parking problem.

Is there a Target around? Of course there has to be, they are everywhere. But where? Where do I go to get all of my children things?

I have gone there several times now and walked around, drove around, and generally investigated, but I am not sure where the utilitarian things are. Actually, I still have to use google map directions to get around. The other day a friend asked where it is. I said 3rd and… um… um… yeah… I don’t know my own cross streets.

I know I will figure it all out. In the meantime it helps to know I can rely on the places in the valley that I am familiar with. Yes, grocery shopping 30 miles from my house isn’t ideal, but I can make it work. I can make anything work.

Sure, I don’t know where the closest gas station to my new place is, but I did find a piano bar not too far away that looks pretty interesting. And one of my friends said she is excited to go there with me next weekend. After I get back from Cambria.