Category Archives: things

First Time For Everything

Tonight I opened a bottle of champagne all by myself. I know it is trivial, but I have never done that before.

I am doing a lot of things for the first time right now. I am also doing a lot of things I haven’t done in a long time, so it feels like the first time. A few days ago I covered this in my post, Logistics. Sort of.

Today I got my first teaching position. I mean, I have known about it for over a year. It was just a matter of getting my degree squared away and all that. But it is still exciting. It is no longer something to be speculated. It is actually happening, officially, on paper, as in “you will be teaching these specific courses right here, starting on this date.”

I was talking to the department chair and she is apparently giving me some very nice courses. I was under the impression that I would be starting with the remedial, intro to writing a paragraph type classes. I blurted out “you mean you are going to let me teach real English?” She said she has faith in me. Good thing one of us feels that way.

One of my friends explained to me that it is actually easier to teach literature courses. You are working on the assumption that the students already have basic writing skills to a certain level, and now you can get into the story, the narrative, as opposed to focusing on the technicality of constructing a paragraph. She knows how much I dislike technicalities. I may not know how many commas are appropriate within a 750 word span, but I can tell you about the story and its author.


The Ironic Vacation

Next weekend I will be in San Francisco for four wonderful days! I have been wanting to go back for years.

I am currently planning the trip and trying to fit in as many different places each day as I can. I am pretty sure I have more things in mind than there are hours in the day for, but nevermind that.
This is my list so far:
I definitely want to stop by Fisherman’s Wharf (last time I was there they had amazing bread bowl clam chowder, and I have never forgotten in).
I want to climb down the stairs of Telegraph Hill (and actually take pictures this time!)
Walk around Haight-Ashbury.
I want to go to the Museum of Modern Art.
There are half a dozen cafes I want to try. And at least two restaurants.
Go to the Palace of Fine Arts.
Eat chocolate at Ghirardelli Square.
Visit the Japanese Gardens.
Oh, and I want to go into Berkeley too! See all the little shops I miss, and find that poster shop that has the pictures I want to frame. Even though they probably sold years ago.
As the week progresses I am sure this list will grow exponentially and get completely out of hand. I will have to wield my unruly list all weekend. Darn.

New Year Resolutions – A Few Days Late

I know January first has come and gone, and I should have posted my list of resolutions earlier, but I like to give these things a lot of thought. Resolutions cannot be taken lightly. Not to mention, considering my first resolution in this list, this is most appropriate. So here are six (maybe seven, depending on how you count) things I want to accomplish this year. You can too.
Procrastinate More
I don’t think I procrastinate enough. In fact, I don’t think I procrastinate at all. This is a problem, especially since my efficiency has actually cost me more work in the past. For example, I have completed homework assignments the night they were assigned, only for the professor to change her mind the next day. That was fun. So this year I shall put off absolutely everything until the very last second and then stressfully attempt to get everything together in as little time as possible. Surely this will lead to brilliant work.
Change My Style
I have been told I dress nicely. Obviously this has to stop. This year I will stop caring about how I look. I will at all times appear as though I have just been run over by some large vehicle. I will stop ironing my work clothes – in fact, I will stop wearing work clothes altogether. All of my presentable outfits will hang in my closet indefinitely while I roam around in sweat pants and frumpy shirts.
Buy Sweat Pants
In order for the above to transpire, I shall purchase slovenly clothing, staring with sweat pants. Also some frumpy shirts. Do you buy them like that or do I actually have to make my own? Do they come with instructions?
Stop Wearing Make-up
Evidently I can’t look disheveled while sporting full make-up. This too has to come to an end. I will only wear enough make-up to look my age (or reasonably close), but not enough to seem attractive. Oh no, not the natural look. That would be too easy. I plan on wearing color palates to utterly clash with my skin tones, and eyes. Blue eye shadow, purple lip stick, and just the wrong shade of blush.
Stop Being Optimistic and Complain More
In a continuous effort to demoralize those around me I shall stop looking at the bright side. From now on I shall mope constantly. Starbucks put too much coffee in my cup? Woe is me! Do they even understand the delicate balance of coffee to creamer ratio? The trouble I will have to go to in order to spill some of it out. The burden they have placed on me! Raining you say? I hadn’t noticed as my tears far outnumber the wet drops outside. Now I can’t wear what I had originally intended. My day is ruined! Ruined, I tell you! As I shake my fists at the sky. Oh the tragedy! If only it was just one day. But now this has offset the entirety of my week. No, you cannot possibly understand. I am doomed. We are all doomed. Doomed I tell you!!
Speak Only In Hyperbole
I too often underestimate myself, but no more! From now on every single thing I do will be considered a feat of the greatest importance. Today for example I accomplished a billion things. I had to go to the grocery store and the post office. You cannot even comprehend the difficulty that that entailed. It took me the longest thirty seconds of my life to put on my sweatpants and mismatched make-up. Then I had to drive an entire one and a half blocks. And I had almost no time since the post office closes at five and I didn’t even leave the house until 4:45. It was the worst day of my life!
Come Up With More Resolutions
I don’t think this list is long enough.