When moving, there are certain things you need to take into consideration. If any of you are planning on moving in the future, you should know there are guidelines. I know not everyone can move with as much fanfare and pizzazz but hopefully this list will provide you with points to strive for.
In no particular order:
1. Before even beginning the moving process, make sure you are up to the task and test your patience. Park your truck/van/moving vehicle in the driveway, leave the engine running, exit the vehicle, and lock the door. This will also provide you with plenty of time to do any last minute packing while waiting for AAA.
2. Drop every item you are moving at least once. Preferably on your own feet. I recommend boxes of books for this task. Although dishes work well too. Repeat the process when unloading – you know, for practice.
3. When measuring your new space for furniture buying purposes, don’t worry about the door. Then, order furniture that doesn’t fit through your door unless you start removing pieces of it.
4. After you have dismantled furniture that was never intended to come apart, forget where all the pieces go. Then you and your moving buddies can have a fun jigsaw puzzle to work on.
5. Break as many dishes, cups, and glasses as you can. You want to make sure your kitchen is trendy and matching sets are totally overrated. Isn’t shabby chic in right now?
6. Forgot to order Internet services? Don’t fret, because you don’t need it. The Internet is completely useless. Besides, the Starbucks down the street has some. Right?
7. Break as many things in the new place as you can manage in the first few hours. Security deposit? What’s that?
8. Every time you leave your new home, leave your keys on the kitchen counter. This is the best way for management to get to know you. It is important to make friends.
9. There is no better way of getting to know your new neighborhood than forgetting where you parked your car each time you have to run out for something.
10. Before memorizing your new address try ordering food. When the man on the phone asks for said address, run out into the street like a lunatic trying to figure out where you are.
11. Spend all day putting dishes, books, and clothes away. You can always worry about setting up your bed afterwards. Besides, nothing will motivate you more than an intense desire to sleep.
12. Keep in mind that the things you use most are usually at the top (of counters, drawers, etc.) and thus will end up at the bottom of boxes. Don’t change this. It will help you unpack much faster.
13. Don’t organize anything. Moving is an organic process that should flow uninhibited by contrived plans and schemes. Everyone who you have recruited to help will thank you for the magical experience.
Am I missing anything? No? Alright then… Off you go…