Category Archives: size

I don’t know what to title this.

A couple of weeks ago I had laryngitis, and I still have a slight cough. Despite the fact that it has been unbearably hot I have been wearing scarves to keep my throat warm and minimize the hacking quality of this seemingly never ending cough. Today the temperature was a little better and I opted for a light turtleneck sweater instead. One of my co-workers asked if I wasn’t too warm. Well, yes, but I explained that I had little choice considering the alternative.

She told me she would have a huge problem with this since she enjoys displaying her chest. I don’t blame her. Her chest is very attractive. Unfortunately I am unfamiliar with that kind of a problem.

When I was little I assumed my breasts would come in eventually. My mother and my grandmother are very well endowed in that area, so I knew it was only a matter of time. By the time I was in my mid twenties I finally conceded to the fact that I would not be getting breasts. No matter what I wanted to believe, I was done growing, and it wasn’t going to happen.

So I resorted to the wonder/miracle/push-up bras. Except the result was really quite pathetic. No amount of pushing, probing, or readjusting would do the trick. I even at one point purchased a water/gel bra, which is essentially the grown up, fancy and expensive equivalent of stuffing your bra. This seemed to work a little better. As long as I didn’t wear anything too low cut I could create the illusion of having breasts. But I still couldn’t achieve the appearance of cleavage. I had to pick my tops carefully.

Several years back I was shopping with a friend at Fredrick’s, and I was trying on this ridiculous piece that was supposed to enhance my chest by two sizes. As I was wiggling myself into this contraption she asked if I thought men would be more attracted to me if I had bigger breasts. Well, yes. Wasn’t that the point? Then she asked, “what happens when he touches you?” Um…. I hadn’t thought that far.

It would be nice if I could say that at that point I came to some wonderful realization about how I love myself, found the real beauty of my body and [insert some sort of saccharine inspirational quote here], but that never happened. The only thing I realized was that if some man was attracted to me solely for my chest size (which even with all the fancy bras was still not very impressive), then down the line he would be very disappointed. As if I didn’t have enough of a “small breasts complex,” visible disappointment from a man during an intimate encounter was the last thing I needed.

No, I didn’t learn to love my breasts the way they are, or anything close. But even though I may never really like them, and occasionally glare at them in the mirror, I did realize that creating the image of what might be deemed “false advertising” will probably hurt me more in the long run than begrudgingly accepting (read: coping with) their tiny existence.

Stuff! Like The Magazine, Except Way Better

I have had crazy writer’s block lately, so in my incapacitated state, I have not done a lot . However, I did a little, and here it is. For your viewing pleasure.
Stuff I Pinned. I am putting it at the top of the list this time. Because these pretty pictures are better than a lot of my writing right now.
There is something going around. And this can help.
If you have any great topic ideas for me, share in the comments. 

Best Baby Shower Gifts

I have had baby showers on my mind. Don’t worry Mom, I am not pregnant again. This may have to do with the upcoming baby showers I will be attending. But I attend baby showers all the time, so really it may just be the season. I mean, Spring is coming up, and that is the season for fertility. It is also the season for a lot of other stuff… but those are like five different posts that have nothing to do with baby showers , so  we will get into that later.
I have been doing my baby shower shopping (because I have leaving things for last minute). Now, none of the lovely women who will having baby showers are first time mommies, which means they already know what they want or need. They also already have the big ticket items. But nevertheless there are a few essentials that are welcome to most baby showers.
Diaper Cakes
Most baby showers have a diaper raffle, where everyone brings diapers, gets a ticket and someone wins a prize of some sort. Even if there is no diaper raffle, diapers are always welcome. A diaper cake is just a super decorative way of bringing diapers. Also, depending on what you got, you can put most, if not all, of your gifts inside the “cake” for an added surprise. If you have no idea what I am talking about, thisis what a diaper cake is.
It takes time. I remember the first few I ever made. They were horrible. I practically wanted to cry. Now, I do a pretty good job. In fact, people request them. So if yours doesn’t come out the way you wanted. Don’t give up. Keep at it. If you are nothing like me, and don’t attend 523 baby showers a year, which means you won’t have time to practice and hone your diaper cake making skills, then call me. I will do it for you (because I love you, and making diaper cakes is super fun).
Older Baby Clothes
Itsy bitsy newborn onesies are adorable. But guess what, everyone is going to be getting them for the mommy to be. She will be overloaded with tiny onesies. More than the kid may ever wear. I have almost an entire box of really cute onesies Munchie never got to wear (I am saving them for when my brother in law or my best friend has a kid… and with my luck they will both have boys that probably won’t want to wear Munchie’s pink and frilly onesies).
9-12 months baby clothes are also cute. And it will save the parents having to buy as many clothes when the child grows. Also, from personal experience, some babies are bigger and grow faster than others. Ducky was huge, and he grew very, very quickly. Some newborn onesies never even fit him. And the ones that fit stopped fitting within a month. He is five months old wearing twelve months clothes.
Bigger is better when shopping for baby clothes. Babies grow at different rates, but eventually they will fit in the outfit you got them.
Gift Cards
I love gift cards. When I get gift cards it allows me to buy all the stuff for an occasion that I did not receive. For a baby shower they are great because the mommy to be can hold on to it until after the baby is born and use it for stuff she didn’t even know she needed. For Munchie’s baby shower I received a lot of gift cards and they became very useful in her first few months. As a new mom I did not know everything I would need. And all babies are different. Just because my friends used product X doesn’t mean I will have any use for it. There is also the stuff I thought I would not need, and turns out I was wrong. You really can’t go wrong with one of these.
Boppy Pillow
You can’t have too many. I received three of these at Munchie’s baby shower. I thought I would surely return at least one because what do I need three for? Turns out, they were great, and I ended up using all of them. At the time we were living in a two story town home, so I had one upstairs by the bed for night feedings. I had one in the living room so Munchie could lay on it during the day and I could use for afternoon feedings. The third resided in my car for when we went anywhere. We are now using them for Ducky.
Make sure you get the kind with a removable cover. Babies spit up. Enough said.
Honestly, you can’t really go wrong with a baby shower gift. In the end, it is the thought that counts. And anything is usually appreciated. If the mommy to be has a registry, consult it. If not, hopefully this gift guide has been helpful.
What are some of your favorite things to bring to baby showers? What are some of the best things you received at yours?