Author Archives: Christene

Learned Behavior

Tanya and I were at the mall and we went into Forever 21. As we were walking around she said “I remember being here with you before, and we were looking for the elevator, but I don’t remember why.” I reminded her it was because I had the kids with me in the double stroller and thus could not use the escalator. “Oh yeah! Your kids are so well behaved sometimes I don’t even notice they are there. I hope I get that kind of a kid.”

First of all, my kids certainly have their moments. By which I mean they can be little terrors. But yes, for the most part they are well behaved, quiet, and polite. Not to steal their thunder, but I think this has more to do with me than them. I have always thought a child’s behavior is reflection of the parent. I am not going to go as far as creating a dichotomy between “good” and “bad” parenting, but simply state that discipline comes from the parent, and behavior is indicative of said discipline. In other words, my kids know what they can and can’t get away with.

Of course there are those times when they are overly tired, or hungry, or something, and they just have an all out cry marathon regardless of where we are. But they are still very young and have difficulty controlling strong emotions. Nevertheless my daughter, who is now approaching three and a half, has started knowing better. She knows when she has a temper tantrum in public it is not alright. She also knows that if she has a temper tantrum in public we will leave immediately, and she will get a time out. Put these two things together and guess what you get? That right, less temper tantrums and more self control. My son is still a little too young, but he too is coming to understand that there are consequences for his actions. There are things we do, and there are things we don’t do. Period.

This does not mean that they will always get it right. This doesn’t mean I won’t give them hugs and kisses when they cry and try to make it better. I understand that some things can be overwhelming or frustrating for them. This does not mean that their individual personalities aren’t taken into consideration. But practice makes perfect. The more children are socialized, and realize what is appropriate, and what is unacceptable, the more prone they will be to get it right. Children want to please, especially their parents, so if they start understanding what type of behavior makes you happy, they will be more likely to do it. I am not going to go too much into the psychology or even methodology of this since there are numerous books out there, written by professionals, that outline this very issue, but I will say that behavior is learned. It takes time on your part, but the outcome is very much worth it.

 

Almost Two

Ducky will be two in less than two months and I am beginning to think about what I should do for his birthday. I have managed to keep the kid alive for two years. That should be a celebration onto itself. I should get a new dress. No? That is not how this works? Well, then I will just get the dress anyway and call it a day.

Ok, back to his birthday planning. I want to do a theme. Can you guess which one? Ducks! I bet you didn’t see that coming. I know, I know, but really now, for how much longer do you think I can get away with this? I can’t imagine my teenage son will want ducky themed birthday parties. So I am enjoying it while it lasts (read: while he has no opinion and/or cannot articulate well enough so I can pretend I don’t understand what he is saying when he protests).

Believe it or not, this is actually quite a common theme. Otherwise I don’t think there would be as many duck  oriented birthday party paraphernalia items. Of course I am also open to suggestions. If anyone else with a vested interest in this party has anything to say about it, then I will consider other themes.

Before anyone gets too excited, there are a few things I will veto outright. No dinosaurs. We did a dinosaur-like theme for his first birthday. That was very nice. Should he request it again when he is better adapted to speech, then it may again be taken into consideration. In the interim, no dinosaurs. No lions. Currently the lion is his favorite animal and he is obsessed with these creatures. I blame everyone who bought him lion stuffed animals and toys at birth and for his first birthday because he happens to be a Leo. Very clever. I am still waiting for my bow and arrows. However, because I don’t see this lion fetish abating any time soon, I am saving this for his third birthday. He will be far more cognizant, and maybe even remember it down the line. No Curious George or Winnie the Pooh. Just because.

In the meantime I will be fantasizing about all the yummy duck looking desserts I get to bake and decorate.

It Seems Like Sour Grapes

I found this article today, and it upset me, but not for the reasons you may think. Although this was not a recent article, the issue is still quite relevant. The article focuses on the antagonism a lot of people have towards public workers’ retirement pensions. They argue that these pensions are too high, and start at too early an age.
 
Honestly, I think people are just being bitter and demonstrating some sour grapes syndrome. I am nowhere near retirement age, and cannot say what will be the pension situation at that point. But I cannot see myself getting upset because someone is getting to retire before me, or getting a larger retirement check. These people worked for many years. They were lucky enough to work for companies, or government agencies that had excellent retirement perks. Good for them.
 
To put this in a different perspective that applies to me, this would be the equivalent of me getting all bent out of shape because there are women out there who are housewives, because they can afford it, along with shopping sprees, and other luxuries. They lounge around all day and still get everything. Again, good for them. They happen to be in a different lot in life. They got lucky, or happened to be in the right place at the right time. Do I wish I could do that? Sometimes. (Not sure about the whole housewife bit, but I could definitely use the shopping spree). Do I begrudge anyone else this? No.
 
I agree it is sad that not everyone can get those types of retirement benefits. But unfortunately life is not always fair. I have learned to love what I have, and live with it. Begrudging other people what they have, or earned, is not conducive to my own health or happiness.
 
I don’t understand why there have to be initiatives taken to government to limit retirement pensions for government officials, or up the retirement age. And when I say “government officials” I am referring to government employees such as office workers, teachers, fire fighters, police officers, etc. and not necessarily high paid politicians. Again, these are people who worked their entire lives in these jobs. They may end up making more in retirement, but as far as I am concerned, they deserve it. And if they don’t? I am not going to worry about it.