I was talking to my friend today about her relationship that is apparently going nowhere. She has been with him for almost six years without a proposal in sight. She is frustrated and doesn’t want to continue on without knowing where it will go. I thought about it for a bit, and realized there was a time when I would have reacted the same. Six years without the prospect of marriage would have been completely unacceptable. In fact, I would not have made it to the six year mark.
But that is the funny thing about relationships, they are always going somewhere, just not in always in one direction. They fluctuate, stagnate, progress, regress. They are always in motion. Sometimes they don’t seem to be moving except across time. But sometimes that is just fine. Sometimes the point where you are is a good point, and it doesn’t need to go anywhere else because you are where you need to be. In her case she wants to be elsewhere. But progress isn’t always good. Often relationships head towards marriage. Then what? Is that the end? Does the relationship stop when you are married? Is it supposed to? Relationships don’t have a finish line. I think that is when they end, and then they don’t exist anymore. So what are you progressing towards? So you get married. Then what? Do you still want it to go somewhere? You get a divorce. It went somewhere. Happy now?
I tried to explain that she is too focused on the future to enjoy the present. The present might not always be good either, but it can be.
She didn’t understand what I was trying to tell her, so I sent her a song instead. I sent her this Tina Dico song. She said it was a pretty song. Yes, it is.