Category Archives: baby

No Title Applies

The boot fairy has recently visited my closet and was ever so generous with not one, but TWO shiny new pairs of boots. I swear, I just woke up and they were there. Jenny warned me this would happen.

Oh a completely separate note, I have done some very bad things to literature lately. Namely Derrida. I am sorry, I had to. Don’t take it personally.

Moving on, Ducky is walking!!! Well… sort of… he is walking about three to five feet at a time. Any day now and he can stop breaking Mommy’s back! Seriously, I weighed him, and he weighs 35 pounds. I only weigh about 95… On the bright side, my arms are extremely toned… I mean, if it wasn’t for the fact that I am not a fan of this hot weather, I am doing a great job with the tank tops and halters. I would totally provide pictures, but I am not that vain, so I don’t have any. Not to mention it would be slightly strange to post pictures of my arms. They are not that interesting. I promise.

Munchie is at that phase where she repeats everything she hears. I need to start watching what I say around her. Thankfully I don’t swear, otherwise I would really have a problem. Recently she has been going around telling everybody Mommy drinks too much coffee. As if that was news.

I went to a bookstore the other night. I got lost in art.

My car needed new brakes. I took it in and they gave me a rental. I spent several days trying to figure out how to get it to do what I needed it to do. The buttons didn’t make any sense. There were little pictures that didn’t look anything like what they were supposed to do. It was like playing charades with a car and losing every time. Actually, it was more like pictionary. I still lost.

I want to go to Solvang and buy jewelry. Oh, and they have these little rum ball pastries at this one coffee shop that are absolutely amazing. Delicious.

It’s called a Table of Contents. Learn how to use it. I am not being mean, I am trying to help.

Why am I still awake at this time of night? I am not even doing anything productive! The other night I was up until four in the morning working on a paper. At the end of that I felt accomplished. Now I just feel tired.

I was having coffee with a friend, and I told him I have been unhinged from the inside. He said that was a good thing. He forgot to explain.

I wrote a blog post a few months ago. I lied.

But only a little.

How Not To Raise Your Child

As I like to say, when it comes to parenting, there are more opinions than there are actual children. I am a parent, and have managed to keep my children alive, one for over two years, so in that sense, go me! However, this does not qualify me to give advice to anyone in regards to parenting. Because honestly, I have about as much a clue on the subject as you do. I know my kids, and I may know some things about yours, but at the end of the day, they are your children, and you know them best.
Parents who get all preachy and judgmental drive me up a wall. Unless I am directly harming my children, please mind your own business, and I will mind mine. Currently my business is my own kids. Which I mind just fine.
I am sure you have opinions, and frankly I would love to hear them, because that is how I get half of my own ideas. I hear what other people have to say, and then decide whether or not I like what I am hearing. If you want to know my opinion on different things like breast feeding, potty training, discipline and so forth, well, not surprisingly, I have a lot of them. I will gladly share, and talk your ear off. But I will not be offended if at the end of my rant you chose to say “no, thank you” to everything I have said. Because that is your prerogative.
It does take a village to raise a child, and there should definitely be a conversation between parents on best practices. That is how we all learn. Especially if you are having your first child and someone else has already been there done that, multiple times. That is called learning from others’ experiences. It is a wonderful process, and can be very helpful. But when the parent in the know takes it upon themselves to bash everyone else who does not take their advice, then it gets ugly. It is no longer called a conversation, it morphs into something akin to an argument. And from some of the blogs and boards I have seen, it can get pretty heated.
Some topics are a lot hotter than others. Breast feeding is one of them. If you have been reading my blog, you will know that I have tried (wasn’t all too successful, and if you read A Nervous Tic Motion this coming Thursday you will get a glimpse into why). Others have chosen not to try. I can respect that even if I don’t understand it.
But then again I have seen people tare each other to shreds in forums over much more innocuous matters, such as which onesies and rattles are best. Seriously folks? If you are having trouble sleeping because someone else gave their kid a rattle you don’t agree with there is a much larger issue there. Hint: it’s not the rattle.
So I am going to ask the age old question of why can’t we all just get along? Why can’t we share parenting experiences like kittens? Because no one ever argues about which kitten is best. We can all agree they are all wonderful.
So, in conclusion, I am ending with this hilarious, and only mildly off topic cartoon from Time.