Am I Neglecting My Daughter?

It has been four days since I gave birth to my son. As I am sitting up at three in the morning feeding him, I realize I am missing my daughter. Granted it has been less than a week, I feel as if I have abandoned her. At first I thought it was just me being hormonal, but then hearing my husband echo my sentiments in that he feels he is abandoning his newborn son, I felt a little more justified.
My husband has always been my daughter’s favorite parent. She is a complete daddy’s little girl. But I still had special routines with her that provided us with quality mommy daughter time. We took our walks in the mornings, we ate our snacks together, we had bath time, and bed time. Since my little Ducky was born I have only spent a handful of minutes with my daughter. Is this how it is going to be from now on? She gets me second tier only if her younger brother doesn’t immediately need me? I should hope not.
Is my husband never going to have more than a few minutes with his son? I am sure several years from now this will in fact change, and both kids will have both parents all the time. But for now, I feel as though my daughter is getting replaced (which I hope is not how she is feeling). I am optimistic that all the extra attention my husband has been giving her makes up for any lost time with mommy.
Did you feel this way when having a second child?

P.S. That is an actual photo of my son.

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One comment

  1. Aww, you’ll get into the swing of things. Babies are a blessing (even to big sisters, LOL). You’ll end up breastfeeding while reading Ally a bedtime story or giving her a bath or cooking, LOL. It will start to feel more natural and less impossible over time. One of the best things I ever did was learn to invite the older siblings into my lap when holding or feeding the baby. It may seem awkward at first, but quickly diminishes any feelings of “Gee, Mommy doesn’t have time for me”. Sometimes, Big Sister will probably even decide to do something else, but the invitation will mean a lot to her, even while she’s still a little one, too.

    And DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF! New Baby won’t be “new” forever and you and Ally will be OK again. Just a period of adjusting, I think. God bless. <3

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