Dear men, when taking a woman out, especially for the first time, here are a few things to keep in mind so a woman might want to see you again.

~Groom yourself. We don’t all all want to date Ken dolls, but the “I just rolled out of bed” look doesn’t work for most people. If you were well groomed when we accepted the date request, chances are we liked how you looked then. On your first date, do that again.

~We don’t necessarily expect to be taken out to a five star restaurant, but a step above Chili’s would be nice. Cheap *and* good is very possible, you just have to find the right place.

~Candid conversation is always welcome, especially since first dates are awkward, but asking us if we have in any way been damaged in certain areas by childbirth is never, ever okay. Just don’t. And if you are thinking it, just keep that thought to yourself.

~Do not pull out your phone to show us pictures of your ex girlfriend. And under no circumstances hold your phone up next to us and try to compare. It doesn’t matter that you decide we are prettier than her. You just lost like five hundred points. In return, we won’t mention that we still want the man who was before you. Everyone wins.

~Don’t act shocked that we are older than you thought we were, especially if you are considerably older than us. “Oh, wow, I didn’t realize you were that old” is absolutely, under no circumstances ever a good thing to say to a woman.  The appropriate response is always “oh, I thought you were 18!” Always.

~When you keep groping for us and we keep pulling away, take that as a hint. If we haven’t run out the door yet, be nice.

~Believe it or not, not all of us care about how much money you have. If you have a lot, good for you. A laundry list of everything you own is not interesting for us. Tell us about yourself, not your stuff.

~If you are better educated than us, don’t belittled us for it. That’s mean. We are not “cute” women trying to get “big” degrees. Just shut up. (Why haven’t we left yet?)

~When we say good night and try to get into our cars, don’t grab at us some more. And don’t be so stunned when our heels find your shins. In fact, you should be glad our knees didn’t find anything.

~If you go on a date with a woman and she looks like she just escaped the clutches of Hell at the end of the evening, don’t text her right afterwards and ask when you can do this again. If you don’t know, the answer is never.

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