Category Archives: sleep

A Letter To Ducky

Dear Ducky,
Mommy loves you, but please stop growing. Of course I want you to grow up broad and sturdy. I want you to be tall, and generally well built. But you have time. You do not need to put on a lifetimes’ worth of weight before your first birthday. You are nine months old wearing twenty-four months clothes.
Aside from the fact that I can’t shop fast enough to replace your clothes, I am also running out of space to store all the clothes you can’t fit into any more. Including the ones you never even got a chance to wear (just in case there is another one of you down the line).
Also, you need to work on this crawling business. Not because I am worried about your development. I am sure you will get there eventually. But since you can’t crawl or walk, I have to carry you. Everywhere. And you are heavy. You weigh more than your two year old sister. I thank you for the really buff arms I now have, and the six pack belly that I am sure you contributed to, but my back hurts, and my arms are sore. And I am exhausted.
Also, we need to work on your sleeping habits. Meaning you need to sleep more. At night. This whole waking up ever hour or less trend is not working. I am exhausted. Your father is exhausted. How are you not exhausted? Do we need to enroll you in baby aerobics so you can burn off some of that excess energy? We would be glad to do it.
So you see, Ducky, mommy and daddy love you dearly. We are just asking for some effort on your part. I didn’t want to burden you, or make you feel like you are not a good baby. So I haven’t said anything. But you are now nine months old, and ready for the truth. Even though to me you are always going to be perfect, there is always room for improvement.
With love,
P.S. In a few months you are probably going to be obsessed with Elmo like your sister is. Please don’t. 

4 Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

When you have children you learn basic things, such as taking care of your kid, changing a diaper, how to get an itsy bitsy onesie on an itsy bitsy baby, and so forth. However, there are some life lessons your kids will teach you that you may not have anticipated. These are some of the things motherhood has taught me:


Before you say “I already have loads of patience,” let me tell you, no you don’t. You do not have patience until a small child screams uncontrollably for three hours at night, and all you can do is hold them and hope they calm down so you can go to sleep yourself. Patience is when you are trying to perform a task that would normally take about ten minutes or less and has now dragged on for over an hour because your toddler does not feel you should be doing this particular thing.

Functioning on Little to No Sleep

I use the term “functioning” very loosely here. You are going through the motions of the day in a zombie like state, but nevertheless can perform some basic functions. Remember when you were in college and were able to go out partying until three or four in the morning, and then go to class and work the next day without missing a beat? Yeah, having kids is a lot like that, except there is no party and a lot more is expected of you. Fortunately this phase only lasts the first few months, after which, with any luck, your child is sleeping through the night for the most part.

Plans Do Not Count

I have to admit, this is still a lesson in progress for me, but I am slowly catching on. A little planning can in fact go a long way. However, for the most part, kids have a way of derailing even the best laid plans. They do not do this intentionally, and it does not necessarily happen all the time, but there are those occasions when you were planning on being somewhere at a certain time, or even going somewhere at all, and your child just would not allow this to happen (he puked all over himself and now you are late, she woke up with a fever, your babysitter cancelled on you and your destination is not kid friendly, etc.). You will eventually learn to just go with it.

Your Life Is No Longer About You

This is pretty self explanatory. In fact, if I even have to begin explaining this one, you are not ready for kids.

What have your kids taught you?