I have been terribly unproductive lately. Granted I just finished school, I am exhausted, I was sick, etc. ect. Excuses. Excuses. I have been idle for a whole week (reading for pleasure doesn’t count). This needs to stop immediately.

I think of all the things I should be doing. The list is getting slightly longer, but has not yet reached the unmanageable stage that leads me to making lists and strategically planning my days. I am not sure if I actually have free time, or if I am forgetting something. I mean, this can’t be it.

I have to write a paper or two for personal use. I need to study for this huge exam. And um… that is it. That is my entire summer. I feel like I should be doing more, but I don’t know what.

Before I went back to school I filled my days with notions of what I thought I should be doing. I carefully crafted my lists accordingly. It was the usual stuff. Make baby related items. Make more baby related items. Blog about making baby related items. Blog about experiences trying to make baby related items. Research how to make more baby related items. It was all very exciting.

Then school happened, and I felt as I had before. Basically I went back to normal. Now I am in a strange limbo, slowly adjusting to the idea of independent research where I decide the pace, subject, and structure. It is a sense of freedom that I have never before had. It is a little scary. As much as I enjoy my freedom I have never really known what to do with it. Probably why I am so quick to always give it up. I like it in short bursts. Then I seek the comfort of structure and routine.

Funny how that works.