Right around now people are beginning to hear back about graduate admissions. I have not heard anything yet from any of my schools, and my immediate friends have not either. As soon as applications were submitted I knew it was just a matter of waiting, and pushed it all out of my mind, being reminded of it only when technical problems arose. In fact, just a few days ago one of my schools lost my letters of recommendation and I had to contact all three of my letter writers asking them to resubmit. At least it is not just me, and the same things have been happening to numerous other friends, meaning I am not a complete idiot who can’t get applications right.

However, as the days pass it is getting harder and harder to not think about it, and the anticipation is making me rather jittery. As I compulsively check my email every five minutes I am practically twitching. I know sitting here and staring at my email, refreshing the page every little while won’t make it come any faster, but when it does, I will know immediately. I know all of my emails go directly to my phone, so I will hear it buzz as soon as something comes through, but just in case I don’t hear my phone I have set my email up on every single device available to me.

I told myself I wouldn’t do this. Two months ago as I was talking to people about it, I was so nonchalant. “Well, I sent them everything. It is out of my hands now. I will hear when I hear.” *Shrug* Everyone was impressed with my calm and collected demeanor. Some were even jealous at my mellowness. Oh, if only they could see me now! Oh wait, they do see me now. And they are doing the same thing.

In fact most conversation I have with friends nowadays start with “so, have you heard yet?” and others completely revolve around listing schools at each other. We go out to dinner just so we can talk about applications we have not heard back on, and torment ourselves by going online and visiting websites that list which schools have announced their decisions already.

Any day now.