Category Archives: expecting

I Could Never Name My Kid That!

Naming your baby is difficult. My husband and I deliberated for a long time with naming both our children, and performed numerous searches. I often times found myself reading articles about how other parents name their kids in the hopes of being inspired.

There were a lot of articles that advocated waiting until you meet your baby before naming them. Thinking back on everything which went through my head when I met my daughter, that approach would have gotten her stuck with a name like “Scrunchie” or “Fronky” or any other cutsie name my husband and/or I came up with. Currently our daughter is “Munchie” short for Munchkin, and our son is “Fronky” a split between mommy’s little froggy and daddy’s little monkey. I would never in a million years consider actually legally naming my children either of these names. Unless I was just coming off of the epidural, hopped up on pain meds, and my husband is too ecstatic to notice me signing any paperwork.

Is this why we have so many strangely named children? Did the parents wait until they got to see their baby and then blurt out “Squishy” in a rush of adrenaline and excitement, forever maiming, um, I mean naming their child an odd adjective used to describe them in their first hours after birth?

Naming a child is a hard decision to make. Especially when you have two people trying to compromise on the “perfect name.” I just cannot see the several months process condensed into a mere few hours.

How did you come up with your child’s name?

4 Things Every Pregnant Woman Needs

I am nine months pregnant, and technically I can give birth any day now (even though my due date isn’t for another couple of weeks). I just convinced my husband I need a pedicure by telling him the baby won’t come out unless my toes look good, or something like that. I don’t think he believed me, but at this point he knows better than to argue with a pregnant woman about her feet. Either that or he just doesn’t care whether I get a pedicure or not.

There are certain things that pregnant women indisputably need. These things are crucial to our welfare, and deprivation will make the unborn babies inside of us very angry, and potentially turn into zombies. Maybe.

Massages

We ache from head to toe. Our backs hurt. Our feet are swollen. Muscles we didn’t even know we had are now causing us problems. There is also pregnancy carpel tunnel to contend with. Not that we don’t enjoy spa treatments on a regular basis, but now massages have become an absolute necessity. I am sure my doctor could write me a note for this.

Hair Treatments

When you are pregnant all the hormones cause your hair to be thicker. You have this luscious mane atop your head. So basically you have a lot more hair to deal with and manage. A lot of hair dye doesn’t work well with pregnant women, but that doesn’t stop us from haircuts and styling sessions. Think of all the money we are saving by not shoe shopping for nine months since our feet are now comparable to Big Foot.

Snacks

I am not talking about eating everything in sight and then using the excuse that your five pound baby required all of that. Because, really, who would use their unborn child as an excuse like that? However, a few snacks throughout the day can keep a pregnant woman very happy. The baby won’t complain too much either. Unless you are snacking on foods your baby doesn’t like. In which case he will kick you. Hard. Repeatedly. For extended periods of time.

Comedy

Whether it is a funny movie, stand-up comedy, or an online comic, laughing will make you feel better. And your baby will bounce too. Which may possibly hurt, but you will be too amused to notice.

What are some things that got you through pregnancy?

Epidurals Are Not Optional

I know epidurals are controversial. I have read the pros and cons. I even had a co-worker become temporarily paralyzed from the waist down. For eight months she did not know if she would ever be able to walk again. She was fortunate enough to regain her motor skills, and is now perfectly fine, but I have to admit that added to my fear of getting an epidural.

Nevertheless, during labor I requested one. Some would call me weak, amongst other things.
Despite what decision you make, it is ultimately your choice. I know it is not necessary for delivery, but I felt slighted when my insurance refused to pay for it. I got the bill in the mail a few months later, and when I inquired about it, they insurance company declared that it was not required for labor, and therefore I would be liable for it. Anesthesia is never required, but would the insurance company deny it for major surgery? Or even minor surgery?

Regardless of personal feelings about epidurals, why is delivery belittled in terms of pain? Sure women have been giving birth naturally since the beginning of time, but technically once upon a time they used to amputate limbs without anesthesia using unsterilized utensils. Does that mean we need to regress to that as well and start denying other patients pain relief?

Giving birth is a very violent and painful event. Kudos to those women who can tough it out, I have nothing but reverence for you. However, for the rest of us, I think we should not be denied the option unless we are willing to pay extra for it. Epidurals are not a luxury.