I am nine months pregnant, and technically I can give birth any day now (even though my due date isn’t for another couple of weeks). I just convinced my husband I need a pedicure by telling him the baby won’t come out unless my toes look good, or something like that. I don’t think he believed me, but at this point he knows better than to argue with a pregnant woman about her feet. Either that or he just doesn’t care whether I get a pedicure or not.
There are certain things that pregnant women indisputably need. These things are crucial to our welfare, and deprivation will make the unborn babies inside of us very angry, and potentially turn into zombies. Maybe.
We ache from head to toe. Our backs hurt. Our feet are swollen. Muscles we didn’t even know we had are now causing us problems. There is also pregnancy carpel tunnel to contend with. Not that we don’t enjoy spa treatments on a regular basis, but now massages have become an absolute necessity. I am sure my doctor could write me a note for this.
When you are pregnant all the hormones cause your hair to be thicker. You have this luscious mane atop your head. So basically you have a lot more hair to deal with and manage. A lot of hair dye doesn’t work well with pregnant women, but that doesn’t stop us from haircuts and styling sessions. Think of all the money we are saving by not shoe shopping for nine months since our feet are now comparable to Big Foot.
I am not talking about eating everything in sight and then using the excuse that your five pound baby required all of that. Because, really, who would use their unborn child as an excuse like that? However, a few snacks throughout the day can keep a pregnant woman very happy. The baby won’t complain too much either. Unless you are snacking on foods your baby doesn’t like. In which case he will kick you. Hard. Repeatedly. For extended periods of time.
Whether it is a funny movie, stand-up comedy, or an online comic, laughing will make you feel better. And your baby will bounce too. Which may possibly hurt, but you will be too amused to notice.
What are some things that got you through pregnancy?