Category Archives: dream

A Very Strange Dream

I had the strangest dream last night. I remember most of it vividly, and want to transcribe it before it disappears. Already I am forgetting bits and pieces.

I lived in a large city, and went to the Chevy dealership to sell my car because I no longer had any use for it (why Chevy? Why not BMW?) From there I walked to work. It was dusk. Every time I went outside it was alway dusk, regardless of what time of day it was supposed to be. At one point I went to the local apothecary, I walked in, she said “Good morning” and handed me a yellow piece of notebook paper. I left and it was dusk.

Every time I was walking I was either walking from home to work, or from work to Tanya’s birthday dinner. Apparently Tanya had a birthday dinner every night. Each night it was at a different venue on the same hill.

I worked in a large glass building, and from the outside, since it was dusk, you could see everything inside brightly lit. It looked like a restaurant. The lobby looked like a bar. When you went inside it was neither. And from inside, looking out the giant windows it was always morning, around 10 a.m.

It took me going to work a few times before I realized my profession. I was a courtesan. But I wasn’t selling sex, I was selling information. I would go into a large room with red carpeting and no furniture, get dressed in torn jeans and a white halter top, then go back outside onto the main floor. I would sit at a little round coffee table and wait. People would come and ask me things, I would answer their questions and they would pay and leave. Sometimes they would want to play chess with me, or have me watch them read.

Shifts were short, and at the end of each one I was exhausted in a way I can’t even describe. As if I had just had something taken out of me. Even though I was selling information it was somehow also physical. It was drawn out of me almost like taking string from a spool inside of me. Bits were taken and torn out each time I had a client. The spool would regenerate, but it took a lot of energy.

I sat there by myself that evening for what seemed like an eternity. Then a man came and asked me to tell him about photosynthesis. I explained to him the entire process and he was so elated he tipped me double. He gave me so much money I didn’t have to work the rest of the night.

I left, asked my manager when she needed me back the next day, and then walked up the hill for Tanya’s birthday dinner.

The next day I walked to work, and I had a client waiting already. She asked me things I didn’t know anything about. I went to the place that looked like a bar, but wasn’t, except now it was. I ordered drinks and got my client drunk so she would shut up. Then I took her with me to Tanya’s birthday dinner.

This time it was at a hotel. We had dinner and then went wandering around. Tanya was busy so I didn’t get a chance to see her. I was still with my client from earlier and started showing her around (apparently I had been to this place before). (There is a gap here but I think I may have slept with her). The next thing I remember I was putting on her clothes. I decided I wanted to keep her jeans. She put on my jeans, shrugged and smiled, and walked out the door.

I went off to explore the place (hotel?) further. At this point it was a series of burgundy velvet staircases and nothing more (there may or may not have been closed doors in between the staircases, but I am not sure). I found a door, and it was Lowell’s room. He was in there with his boyfriend watching a talk show. I said hello and sorry for interrupting. He said it was quite alright, they were just getting ready to kill themselves. They were holding this strange device that I had never seen before. I panicked and ran out of the room into a large hall where people were standing around having cocktails. I told them what was about to happen and they stared at me like I was crazy and suicide was the most normal thing on the planet. I was shaking and ran back for Lowell’s room. I walked in and they were both dead laying on the bed. Lowell was wearing one of his typical argyle sweater vests. I went over to the mirrored closet that was left half open and found a pair of pumps in my size. I put them on and left.

It was dusk and I was walking to work. Then I woke up.

40 Weeks of Pregnancy – Week 25

It is Monday, and time for another week in my week by week pregnancy guide. If you want to catch up with previous weeks, scroll to the bottom.
Week 25
This was not my favorite time to be pregnant. Sure the nausea has long subsided, but now came some of the more lingering back pain. As your stomach expands, it starts really affecting your lower back as it has to support all the extra, unevenly distributed, weight. I found walking helps. As I mentioned in a few weeks ago, some people enjoyed doing yoga while pregnant. Before starting anything talk to your doctor and make sure it is safe for you.
Menstrual cramps also start happening around now. No, you are not going to be getting your period. You are just going to feel like you are. The good news is they don’t last for days at a time, just a few pangs here and there.
Sleeping became a little more difficult around this time too. Not only was I more restless, but I had a lot of difficulty finding a comfortable position. I used to be a belly sleeper, which obviously was no longer going to work. My back was now no longer comfortable either (or safe). When I would lay on my side, my knees would be at an awkward angle. I found propping pillows in all directions helped. I would lay on my left side with a pillow behind my back so I can lean into it without rolling directly onto my back, and another pillow between my knees. Some women also put a pillow in front of them for the same reason as the back pillow. Experiment with different positions and see what suits you.
One of the most vivid things I remember around this time of month was a recurring dream, or better yet nightmare. Apparently (and I really wish I had known this at the time), dreams become much more vivid and realistic around now. I had this terrible one where I either gave birth to a stillborn, or miscarried, or lost the baby shortly after giving birth. This dream stayed with me until delivery, coming back every few nights. The night before giving birth was the last time I ever had this dream (until I was pregnant again). Most sources say this is perfectly normal. Hopefully you will be one of the ones who doesn’t really get this. But if you do, and it really freaks you out, talk to your doctor. See what, if anything, he can do to reassure you.
To accompany the sleepless nights due to restlessness, discomfort, and bad dreams, I also started getting heartburn. With Munchie it was absolutely horrible, and lasted until I gave birth. With Ducky I had it just as bad, but for a much shorter time, and at this point it hadn’t started yet. There is no guarantee that you will get it, but if you do, it is not something that will linger after you give birth. Also (and I found this out about a week before giving birth to Ducky), you are allowed to take some heartburn meds while pregnant. I don’t know if I would take the super strong stuff regardless of what my doctor may say, but I would have pop a Tums once in a while had I known.Talk to your doctor.
Also, I know I keep saying “talk to your doctor” every few sentences, but I am terribly adverse to getting sued, and/or being accused of baby murder. So even though I am writing completely from research and experience, we are all different, especially when it comes to pregnancy, so what worked for me and tons of other people may in fact not work for you. Therefore, before you take my advice, speak with your doctor.
If you want to catch up with previous weeks….

Week 15 

Week 23