Author Archives: Christene

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As I am preparing to move, I realize I am going to miss this house. For better or worse, it has been my home for several years. My daughter grew up in this house, and my son was born here. Every wall is painted in colors I chose (for the most part, all shades of yellow). I picked the cabinetry, hardware and door knobs. I selected the wood on the floor, and the carpets in the bedrooms. I arranged the furniture. I have spent days each week cleaning and maintaining.

I realize now why I was so hesitant to leave. It is not the house’s fault that it happens to be the casualty of my mistakes. It did not ask to be built where it is. Had it been anywhere else, perhaps I would have stayed and fought for it. It is simultaneously spacious and cozy. I am comfortable here.

He no longer stays here, but when I move out, this will be his house. It is best for the children. This is where they will come to see their dad, and they will continue growing up here part of the time. I am not big on complicating things. There are things I will fight for, and there are things that are just not worth it. Besides, in divorce battles, no one wins.

My first house I gave to my first husband. My second to my second husband. I think I will just rent from now on.

But yes, I will miss the house. I will miss how I made it mine. But that is alright. I will find home again. As Tina Dico sings, I will find “true north.”

Defining Good and Bad

The problem with defining “good” and “bad” is that it necessarily separates. Or better yet, unnecessarily. The two concept reside down a continuum, but not diametrically opposed. The problem most have in trying to reconstruct this continuum is that they understand it to exist in a straight line, with a finite beginning and end (despite the actual definition of “continuum”). Even those who don’t regard it as having endpoints will still assume that “good” is somewhere towards the right, and “bad” is um… that way (as they point towards the left), with some sort of nebulous space floating around in the middle, serving no other purpose than to separate the two concepts.

At first I relied on my circular theories to try and figure it out. I new it wasn’t as clear cut as a straight line, too neat for its own good. I imagined a giant circle. But I had a problem with this since it implied that even though there is no absolute definition, at any given point on the circle there is either “good” or “bad,” and even as they lead to one another, they are separated through time. That is not right.

What originally got me thinking about this is one of the books I am teaching, Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil. I decided to teach it without having read it in about six or seven years. I remembered enough of it to see it slip seamlessly into my syllabus. Rereading it now, I am glad it did.

After reading a few chapters, I began seeing the two concepts of “good” and “bad” as coexisting, intermingling, and quite inseparable. The nebulous space I was first describing as the erroneous divider between the two, is really where they exist, in a state of nothingness, for the most part interchangeable. Depends who you ask.

And that is the first (and perhaps biggest) problem with attempting to understand what each is. In defining them, allocating an orthographic rendering, the idea of these concepts becomes immutable. Yet the concepts do not. Most definitions of “good” or “bad” are vague at best. You see the word, and have some sort of prescribed idea of what it should mean, but everyone creates their own definition. Circumstances shape definitions. Outcomes change definitions. Even the most minute slice of time can be defined as either “good” or “bad,” but the perspective will alter this definition.

Think of past governments, rules, and laws. Do any of them seem unjust today? Downright barbaric? Sure, democracy wasn’t prevalent everywhere, and people didn’t get to vote for their dictators or policies, but how many people questioned them? It is easy enough to judge them, before realizing that the future will judge you. What is deemed morally wrong in our society may be perfectly fine five hundred years from now. Time doesn’t even need to elapse. Cross the globe, and see how others are living , and what they find to be perfectly normal, moral, sanctioned behavior. Judge them if you will, but keep in mind, they will judge right back. And that is the point.

Try to define “good” and “bad,” and you will find as many definitions as there are ways of translating these words. The mere act of trying to define them negates their real existence. As you are looking at them, one in terms of the other, you can’t help but for form the dichotomy in your mind. I have done it plenty.

But in trying to search for the truth of these words, it must be remembered that there is no false.

Remembering the 90’s

I just read an article Anna sent, titled 33 90’s Trends That, In Retrospect Maybe Weren’t Such A Great Idea.

Technically, anything from the past in retrospect wasn’t such a great idea. But I am currently still living in the 80’s for the most part, so what do I know?

Here is the list with my own commentary.

Wearing too much CK One.

Ok, I am guilty of this. Madonna’s Vogue just came out, and the whole male/female line got temporarily blurred. CK came out with the new fragrance that pretty much aggrandized the look, and next thing I knew I was bathing in the stuff.

T-Shirts with Looney Tunes characters.

Yes, I had one. It had Bugs Bunny on it, and I loved it.

JNCO Jeans with 50″ leg openings.

I don’t even know what these are.

Wearing golf visors when you weren’t golfing.

I remember this, and to my credit, I thought they were as dumb then as I do now. Unless you are golfing, then go right ahead.

Light-up LA Gears.

In the 90’s I was wearing stilettos. Still am. My kids now wear shoes that light up. They are little, so I am okay with it.

Turning your jeans into DIY bell bottoms.

I still do this. Sometimes.

Starter Jackets

I still don’t know what these are.

Baja hoodies.

This reminds me of Dillon from 91210. By the way, I loved that show.

Big Johnson shirts.

What?

Bucket hats/bucket hats with Surge logos.

I know a man who still wears these. I am sure he looked just as fashionable back then.

Chaining Mossimo wallets to pants.

Yeah, I remember this. Thankfully this is no longer in style.

Peace frog shirts.

I don’t remember the peace frogs, but I do remember the peace teddybears. I would have liked to see some war teddybears. To even things out a bit.

Anything from Bugle Boy.

I actually had a pair of Bugle Boy pants that I made into cut off shorts.

Bowl cuts.

Yes, a lot of boys had these. They always reminded me of Spock.

Parting said Bowl cuts right down the center.

I actually found this better. If you are going to have one of those, please part it somehow.

Hard Rock Cafe Shirts.

I think these are still around.

Baggy shorts that went down to the shins.

Yeah, the boys from the 90’s are now fully grown men, and still sporting these. I am all for vintage wear, but really this is flattering to no one.

Stussy clothing.

I think I had Stussy clothing. Maybe.

Brightly colored raver gear.

In my defense, I look really good in bright colors.

The Goth style.

All the girls looked like they were auditioning for The Craft. I tried going Goth for a second. But the black lipstick totally clashed with my hot pink glittery disco pants.

Naked Shirt.

Yes. I remember these. I have found that most logo shirts aren’t that great to begin with, and these just further prove my point.

Chunky heeled high top sneakers.

High heeled sneakers were about the only time I got to wear sneakers if I wasn’t working out. I was experimenting.

Wearing your hat backwards and pulling a bit of hair out through the opening.

Brian Austin Green. Yes, another 90210 reference.

Wearing overalls over just one shoulder.

First of all, despite my many fashion faux pas moments over previous decades, I would never be caught dead in overalls. No.

Big dog shirts.

I have no idea what these are.

Tons of those little butterfly clips all over your head.

I still have them. I wear them sparingly, as in once every 5-10 years. I am saving them for my daughter.

Jeans with the waistband cut off so they were only kept up by the zipper.

I tried wearing these. Couldn’t keep them up.

Wearing multiple hemp bracelets.

I don’t know about the bracelets, but the necklaces were really in style. I tried wearing them, but they scratched my neck so when I took them off I looked like I had been hung by a noose. I eventually stopped wearing them.

Hyper color shirts.

You mean these went out of style?

Patterned vests.

Hrm… I am pretty sure I see people wear these occasionally. I am ambivalent towards them. If you can pull them off, good for you.

Big, goofy hats.

I am thinking the show Blossom. I personally cannot wear hats. They just don’t look good on me.

Tying your sweatshirt around your waist, even if you didn’t wear it.

Yes, the sweatshirt around the waist was a staple for me. I would wear it with leggings, leg warmers, high heeled shoes, and a work out top with the shoulders cut out. I was totally accessorizing. Think Donna from 90210. I was younger, and didn’t know any better.

Oddly enough, I don’t remember a lot of anything from the 2000’s. I think it is too soon to really look back. So, if this blog is still going ten years from now, I promise to offer my fashion commentary on the styles of the early 2000’s. In the meantime I have some text analysis that needs to happen.