Author Archives: Christene

As Moving Gets Closer

During my adult life I have never lived in a city. Moving day is fast approaching and I feel like a deer caught in headlights. I am going to start from scratch, after many years, in an environment I am for the most part unfamiliar with.Today I was in the kitchenware aisle. I have almost nothing. I stared at everything for what seemed an eternity. Ten years worth of kitchen-stuff accrual. Gone. Except I, ironically, get to keep most of everything that was a wedding present. I have three different types of salt and pepper shakes and grinders. I am well equipped should anyone need salt or pepper. Need utensils? Sorry, can’t help you there.

But it is not all bad. I am excited. I get to pick out whichever plates I want. I can get creative with my decor. I can wash dishes however I like. My pots and pans will no longer have restrictions.

I don’t know where the grocery store is. Yes, I know, I can search for things online. But I mean, as of right now, I have no idea where the grocery store is. What if there there is no Fresh and Easy? Will I have to stop by the one in Northridge instead? Is there one closer?

At least I don’t have to worry about traffic. I work off hours. What does that mean? No one is driving to or from the city before 6 in the morning or after 8 in the evening. Except maybe on the weekends, but then I don’t have to drive.

I do have to worry about parking. Basically this place has the worst parking arrangement. Ever. Even for residents. It is in an amazing neighborhood, and no one will ever want to come visit me because of the parking problem.

Is there a Target around? Of course there has to be, they are everywhere. But where? Where do I go to get all of my children things?

I have gone there several times now and walked around, drove around, and generally investigated, but I am not sure where the utilitarian things are. Actually, I still have to use google map directions to get around. The other day a friend asked where it is. I said 3rd and… um… um… yeah… I don’t know my own cross streets.

I know I will figure it all out. In the meantime it helps to know I can rely on the places in the valley that I am familiar with. Yes, grocery shopping 30 miles from my house isn’t ideal, but I can make it work. I can make anything work.

Sure, I don’t know where the closest gas station to my new place is, but I did find a piano bar not too far away that looks pretty interesting. And one of my friends said she is excited to go there with me next weekend. After I get back from Cambria.

What Did You Think Was Going To Happen?

Ok, so I just found out about the VMA awards last week. I am slow. And I don’t have a TV. But I can’t listen to the radio or even go online without hearing about the Miley Cyrus twerking business. After reading about it eighty billion times, even on CNN, I finally went online and looked it up.As far as I am concerned the only egregious thing here is the music. And that is my personal taste.

I am seriously not sure what the problem is. I am more disturbed by the animal creatures on stage than what Miley is doing. I am still not sure what “twerking” is, but I am led to believe it has something to do with her gyrating hip movements. Well… damn… I wish I knew how to do that… but with my lack of coordination I would probably land flat on my face, so totally not going to try any time soon.

So she is wearing a skimpy outfit and getting all sorts of slutty. How is that any different than what Britney was doing in the late nineties? How is that any different than Madonna in the eighties? People were outraged then, and not even batting a lash now.

I remember when Madonna’s videos’s only came on after midnight, and my aunt would buy the VHS tapes. No, even as a young child I wasn’t prohibited from watching any of that. My parents weren’t into the whole restrictions thing. I grew up on Like A Prayer:

Girl Gone Wild:

And Vogue:

Miley doesn’t even phase me. I read a post on someone’s personal blog praying for her soul. Really? Well, I am sure Miley’s soul needs a lot of prayer, but that performance doesn’t even make the list. How is she ever going to find a husband? Just fine, and she will probably do better than I ever did. What will her children say? My mom is hot. How will she feel when she is forty? She will have a lot of fun stories to tell. What stories do you have?

I am not denying the fact that there might be a stage in her life where she may regret what she did that night, or feel embarrassed about it. I am not justifying her actions. But I am also acknowledging that, whether we like it or not, there is an inherent difference between the rest of us and her. If I were to do the same and post it online (while I fall flat on my face), the repercussions would ruin me. Last time I checked, her album sales went up. Unfortunately a lot of people *do* recognize this point, and despise her for it, publicly berate her, post malicious content, and secretly steep in their own jealousy.

I can’t personally say I would ever want to make a public showing of that type of behavior, but I would love to have the courage to emulate it for private use. I never have. My sexuality scares me and hasn’t yet been fully explored while Miley makes use of hers, actively probing its potential. Do I hate her for it? Do I have some sort of perverse need to call her names? Judge her for it while I secretly enjoy her performance? Albeit, with the sound off.

If you saw it live, you were watching the VMA’s. What did you expect, Mother Theresa? You knew Robin Thicke was going to be there. You have seen his videos and heard his songs. I know there are debates over his objectification of women, and we all know men who want to sleep with women should be burned at the stake. Yes, I like his songs. I happen to be a woman.  Deal with it. Again, you were watching the VMA’s. What did you think was going to happen?

Almost as if everyone was waiting for it to happen just so they can be outraged.