Reasons Your Child Is Not A Rodent

When you have small children along with pets running around your house, it is tempting to group them together. Especially for the following reasons:

They are both cute and cuddly

Just like your cats, your kids will make loud, shriek like noises when they want food or drink

You have to change diapers and litter on a regular basis

Toys for small children bare an uncanny resemblance to doggy toys

Your children may be biters

Once your children get teeth, early on they look a little like beavers

This may make you feel as if you are a bad parent. Comparing your kid to a rodent and/or house pet probably does not win you the Mommy of the Year Award. No matter how endearingly you may think of it.

Last night at bedtime as my daughter screamed like a banshee for several hours, I heard Samuel L. Jackson in my head. Again, no awards will be handed out here. Except to Samuel L. Jackson for a wonderful narration, and of course Adam Mansbach for writing quite possibly the funniest book I have ever read.

But really, what all this got me thinking of is how quickly my daughter is growing up. I no longer can compare her to the house pets or backyard pests. She is a person onto herself. A tiny force to be reckoned with. She is opinionated, vocal, and she can now crawl faster than I can run. She has a head full of hair (that she will absolutely not allow me to style). She tries to pick out her own clothes, and thus ends up wearing stripes and polka dots on a regular basis. She understands what my husband and I tell her, and then promptly disregards it. Her favorite word is “no” and will adamantly shake her head at everything.

Where is the chipmunk I gave birth to?

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