The other day I found out baby carrots aren’t actually baby anything. The revelation was quite shocking. I have spent my entire life thinking that baby carrots were some sort of dwarf carrot species, only to be told that they were just regular carrots whittled down into the baby carrot shape. My first thought was “how perverse.” Mutilated carrots. Why?

I can see why someone would want small peeled carrots, but wouldn’t carrot wedges satisfy this requirement? Why shape them? I suppose the baby carrot form is more aesthetically pleasing, but once I found out that they don’t really come that way, I no longer thought they were that great.

I know there are far more important things for me to be thinking about than where baby carrots come from, but I just can’t get over it. How have I not known all these years? Have you known this? If so, why haven’t you told me?

First I find out Turtle Wax isn’t really made from turtles, and now this. I am beginning to think there is a naming issue here. Things are not being named properly and causing all sorts of confusion. What’s next? Do I even want to ask what Baby Oil is made from?