What do men see when they see me? Writing that post about Cam last night made me realize just how many times I have asked that same question over the years. Why not me? What is wrong with *me*? Men seem to love me for amusement. I am a pretty little thing to play with. And then throw out. In the end, it is never me they want to keep.

My friends then try to make me feel better. He will never find anyone as pretty as you. He will never find anyone as smart as you. He will never find anyone as…

So? So maybe the other woman won’t be as attractive, or intelligent, or well educated, or successful, or [insert whatever you want in here], but she obviously has whatever it is I don’t.

And she will have a man’s affections, and I won’t.

There must be something about me that displeases, a gaping hole that everyone else seems to see which renders everything else inconsequential, and me, not worth the effort. A fault greater than my benefits.

All those positive traits everyone seem to think I have? What good are they? Men don’t seem to want kindness and love, their affections go towards those who use and abuse, treat them poorly, and withhold.

Maybe I could barter my traits away, one at a time, see what I could get for them, until they are all gone. I will have nothing left to offer, and then apparently be all the more attractive and worthwhile.