Author Archives: Christene

And It Continues

I saw almost a dozen apartments today. I am exhausted, but I think I have narrowed it down to a top three. At least for now. Unfortunately one of the problems I am having is keeping them straight in my head. I can’t remember which one had the counter top I liked, and which one had the walk-in closet. Which one had the balcony? Notes would have been good.

I was originally planning on a three bedroom. But since I am now going to be paying rent and a mortgage, I will have to settle for a two bedroom. And seeing how convoluted everything is right now, I am not foreseeing any changes in the immediate future.

Out of the two bedrooms I have seen, several met the majority of my needs. For those of you who suggested I get the kids involved in this decision, although that sounds like a lovely idea, I don’t think a two and three year old are to be entrusted with choosing our living situation. Besides, they are both very easily amused.

Option 1:

2 Bedrooms. 1.5 Baths. Brentwood.

I love the area. As for the apartment, the kitchen is spacious with tons of counter space, comes with new appliances, and has a nice little nook for dining.

I am not a fan of the 1.5 baths situation. Since the kids won’t each get a room I figured it would be best if they got the master bedroom. There are two of them, they come with many things, and they spend far more time in their room than I do. Actually, I spend almost no time in the bedroom – other than sleeping and getting ready in the morning I hardly ever go in there. I assumed that they would get their own bathroom that comes with the master, and I would take the hall bathroom. In this case, the hall bathroom does’t have a shower or bathtub. That is a problem.

The apartment comes with lots of storage space, which is always a plus.

Option 2:

2 Bedrooms. 2 Baths. Santa Monica.

I love the area. The apartment is a great size, and the hall bathroom has a shower stall.

The kitchen is a decent size. This one doesn’t have quite as much counter space as the one above, but the counters are nicer.

Also, this one comes with a washer and dryer in unit, which is pretty convenient.

There is a little gym downstairs, which would mean I would no longer have to run around in the streets before dawn. But then again I would be minutes away from the beach… so…

Right now I am completely enamored by the fact that the apartment is only a few blocks from Third Street. But I am not so sure living this close to a giant tourist attraction will bode well in the long run. The view, however, is amazing.

Option 3:

2 Bedrooms. 2 Baths. Sherman Oaks.

This apartment is by far the largest of the ones I have mentioned. The bedrooms are visibly bigger, as well as the kitchen. It also has a balcony (and I love balconies).

It has two full baths, and I think this one also had a walk-in closet which is nice.

This apartment is also closer to where I will be heading every day. However, both the Brentwood and Santa Monica apartments aren’t too far from UCLA, and I used to make that commute from and into the valley every day for years, so I am not unfamiliar with the route.

Rent wise, all of these apartments are comparable in price, so that is not a deciding factor.

This is the first time I have gone into apartment hunting with a clear idea of what I want. You would think that would make thing easier, but actually it complicates matters. I am a lot more picky, and more stubborn about settling. I know I am not going to find the “perfect” place, but I am unfortunately more hesitant to compromise on certain features.

But I need to make a decision soon.

Syllabus 1

I am working on my syllabuses. At first it was unbelievably overwhelming. I couldn’t figure out which book to use for what class, or how many books to use, etc. After the initial panic I decided it would be best if I focused on one course at a time. This is my reading list so far (which I intend to read in the following order):

American Gods by Neil Gaiman
A World of Ideas (ed. Lee A. Jacobus) – an anthology
The Personal and the Collective Unconscious by Carl Jung (Jacobus)
The Allegory of the Cave by Plato (Jacobus)
Morality as Anti Nature by Friedrich Nietzsche (Jacobus)
The Origin of Civil Society by Jean Jacques Rousseau (Jacobus)
The Four Idols by Francis Bacon (Jacobus)
Why the Rich are Getting Richer and the Poor, Poorer by Robert Reich (Jacobus)
Masculinity by Germaine Greer (Jacobus)
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir (I need to find an electronic copy of this)

While it might appear that the anthology is my primary text, it is really Gaiman’s novel that will be the main focus, with the remaining excerpts and short pieces all centering on how they relate to American Gods, and in multiple cases, to each other.

Gaiman’s novel is a commentary on modern American society, however his poignant observations can easily apply to all societies and civilizations; even as he sardonically criticizes the American lifestyle, he delves even deeper into the timeless realm of overall human nature.

From here I want to go into Jung and identify archetypes – which are easily spotted in the novel. I figured this would be an easy introduction to Jung, and provide a different way of looking at the characters.

Then I want to draw a parallel between the ways in which Gaiman portrays his citizens and Plato’s Cave allegory. The passivity most of them express when their ways are not only threatened but completely overturned is the same kind of acquiescence those in the cave exhibit. Who is the philosopher?

While it appears that Gaiman favors the old gods over the new, modern and  materialistic gods, upon closer reading it seems his commentary is against any blind faith that robs people of free will, and quite in line with Nietzsche’s notion that life ends where “the kingdom of God beings,” and in American Gods, this kingdom is modern day America.

Nevertheless, when asked to fight against this unrighteousness, this usurpation of basic freedoms, everyone in the novel refuses. The reasoning behind this docile behavior is best depicted by Rousseau’s ideas of the social contract that can be traced within The Origin of Civil Society – people believe society functions best when certain personal rights are willingly abjured. They are partly right, in that conflict is avoided, safety is begotten, and peace prevails. But at what price? And what happens over time as more and more basic rights are forfeited?

Yet people don’t see things as they should, they don’t see the light in the cave, because there are several hindrances to understanding basic human nature, which Bacon outlines quite nicely in his Four Idols.

Bacon’s idea that most people don’t actually wish to think too deeply, or analyze their surroundings, including their lot in life, ties in with Reich’s theory of why the disparity between the haves and the have nots is constantly growing. The side stories within American Gods espouses this disproportion of socioeconomic status, providing a glimpse into the reasons for its existence and perpetuation.

Lastly, the last two excerpts to be read will be used to better understand character motivation, namely of Shadow, Wednesday, and the ever present Laura, looking at why they stand in for every man and woman, and how basic human nature along with social indoctrination propels them into the actions they take. I also want to compare and contrast the concept of masculinity between Shadow and Wednesday, along with the feminine equivalent of Laura and The Queen of Sheba. How do their respective roles pigeonhole them into the parts they play? Who adheres to the societal norms? And what are the consequences?

Next week I will be meeting with two English professors (who actually know what they are doing), to go over all of this, and gage the feasibility/coherence of my thought process and reading choices.

As for the assignments, I am unaware of the quantity I should assign for this type of class. Right now I am thinking two short papers (4-6 pages), and one long research paper (6-8 pages), but I feel that may be a bit much. I don’t know. This is all yet to be determined.

In the meantime I will be working on the next syllabus.

 

I don’t know what to title this.

A couple of weeks ago I had laryngitis, and I still have a slight cough. Despite the fact that it has been unbearably hot I have been wearing scarves to keep my throat warm and minimize the hacking quality of this seemingly never ending cough. Today the temperature was a little better and I opted for a light turtleneck sweater instead. One of my co-workers asked if I wasn’t too warm. Well, yes, but I explained that I had little choice considering the alternative.

She told me she would have a huge problem with this since she enjoys displaying her chest. I don’t blame her. Her chest is very attractive. Unfortunately I am unfamiliar with that kind of a problem.

When I was little I assumed my breasts would come in eventually. My mother and my grandmother are very well endowed in that area, so I knew it was only a matter of time. By the time I was in my mid twenties I finally conceded to the fact that I would not be getting breasts. No matter what I wanted to believe, I was done growing, and it wasn’t going to happen.

So I resorted to the wonder/miracle/push-up bras. Except the result was really quite pathetic. No amount of pushing, probing, or readjusting would do the trick. I even at one point purchased a water/gel bra, which is essentially the grown up, fancy and expensive equivalent of stuffing your bra. This seemed to work a little better. As long as I didn’t wear anything too low cut I could create the illusion of having breasts. But I still couldn’t achieve the appearance of cleavage. I had to pick my tops carefully.

Several years back I was shopping with a friend at Fredrick’s, and I was trying on this ridiculous piece that was supposed to enhance my chest by two sizes. As I was wiggling myself into this contraption she asked if I thought men would be more attracted to me if I had bigger breasts. Well, yes. Wasn’t that the point? Then she asked, “what happens when he touches you?” Um…. I hadn’t thought that far.

It would be nice if I could say that at that point I came to some wonderful realization about how I love myself, found the real beauty of my body and [insert some sort of saccharine inspirational quote here], but that never happened. The only thing I realized was that if some man was attracted to me solely for my chest size (which even with all the fancy bras was still not very impressive), then down the line he would be very disappointed. As if I didn’t have enough of a “small breasts complex,” visible disappointment from a man during an intimate encounter was the last thing I needed.

No, I didn’t learn to love my breasts the way they are, or anything close. But even though I may never really like them, and occasionally glare at them in the mirror, I did realize that creating the image of what might be deemed “false advertising” will probably hurt me more in the long run than begrudgingly accepting (read: coping with) their tiny existence.