How To Cook A Unicorn

If you have ever wished unicorns existed, I will be glad to inform you they did. They are not mythological creatures as many would have you believe, but rather became extinct over time because those in the middle ages ate all of them and then, in an attempt to not further or favor the arguments of future vegetarians, covered it up. The proof is in the pudding, or better yet, the roasted unicorn described in great detail in the London, British Library Manuscript, Additional 142012 (*).



It begins with “taketh one unicorne” and proceeds to outline the process of marinating and roasting with cloves and garlic.



At the rate they were cooking unicorns, no wonder there are none left for the rest of us. Since the manuscript was only recently discovered, animal activists haven’t yet had the opportunity to mourn the unicorn, condemning all those from six hundred years ago and their descendants. The shaming and guilt tripping is sure to follow shortly where we will all be apologizing for what our great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great great, great, great grandfathers did, and thus depriving our children of seeing such magnificent creatures in a zoo.

In the meantime we may perhaps adapt the recipe to currently edible creatures in order to eat through our sadness of the great loss. Oven roasted chicken in garlic and cloves sounds delicious.

So… taketh one chickene………….

*MS Additional 142012 is not a real manuscript and these findings were an April Fool’s joke on the official London, British Library website. Who ever said British academics lack a sense of humor? Along with the posting and an actual recipe, there was also “background information” on the manuscript attributing it to one Geoffrey Fule, a supposed chef to Queen Phillipa in the mid 1300s. Aside from the pictures that are reminiscent of a modern day four year old’s crayon drawings (which can easily be overlooked in light of the “evidence” provided)….well… um….  “taketh one unicorne?” HAHAHA!


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